Intimacy With the World: One Quarter Mark

Thursday, March 31, 2011

One Quarter Mark

I've been at this morning snapshot thing for 3 months today. I'm really rather surprised that I have made it this far without missing a morning. There have been two near misses, but I remembered just before I brushed my hair or showered.

The exercise has become something meaningful, for lack of better descriptor, for me. I would imagine that for the viewer, scrolling through weeks of very similar looking, often blurry or otherwise ill-captured photos is not terribly interesting. I've been told I look grumpy in them---I never claimed to be a morning person---and I've had comments about the weather getting warmer here in Texas, hence my shirtless appearance in more photos as we entered springtime. Otherwise, I've not gotten much feedback on this exercise and really, that's fine.

I'm finding something on the edge of cathartic in the exercise. How to translate that into meaning for the audience? I'm not sure. At the one-quarter mark, maybe that's not important. Maybe there isn't meaning until I complete the year.

But I've managed to complete three months. How am I feeling about intimacy? Not much different there. But vulnerability? Yes, I suppose the surprise is how vulnerable this exercise feels. I wasn't expecting that.

Other feelings surface now and then. If they come to the foreground, maybe I'll discuss them. Maybe at the half-year mark.

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Origin Story

2020 was pretty bad, but that's not why I'm doing this again. It's been 5 years again, so why not? I won't predict what might come of it. If 2020 has taught me anything, it's to not predict. Here's to a 2021 of bad, early morning selfies.

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2015 wasn't as bad as 2010, but it was pretty meh. This blog pulled me out of 2010 in good ways and so, five years later, I'm doing it again. Everything else from 5 years ago (below) still applies. Make of it what you will.

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As someone who has lived alone for possibly way too long, it occurs to me that no one ever sees me in my private moments. The year 2010 has heightened this feeling in significant ways and, of course, there's no better way to deal with feelings of loneliness, aging, and loss than to turn it into a conceptual art project!

My first impulse was to find someplace that would let me do a performance installation called, "hardly anyone ever sees me naked" and set up a space where I dress and undress and dress and undress (and I mean completely because I really don't have much problem with nudity). It would be an exercise in vulnerability, poignancy, and (I'll say it) exhibitionism. I decided that this would probably scandalize some members of my church (although I hasten to add that if you are a presenter and this sounds like something you'd like to present in your art space, I don't mind scandalizing the church for a small fee).

On further reflection, it occurred to me that one of the most intimate and vulnerable moments in our lives is the first thing in the morning, after waking up. Our hair is a mess, we might have stuff in the corners of our eyes, personally, I'm rather grumpy and resentful that anyone wants me anywhere before noon.

So, I decided to turn this unattractive moment into a superficial attempt at intimacy with the whole world, or at least the portion of the world connected to the internet. My self-determined rules are simple: no brushing or combing of hair, avoidance of the mirror, just write down the date, hold it next to my face, and take the picture. Oh, and only one shot. No do-overs. No attempts to take a better shot, no matter how off-centered, blurry, or just plain unappealing.

I intend to do this for the entire year of 2011. If I miss a day, I'll take it up again the next. I'll probably post the photos once a week.

That's all. Make of it what you will.