first thing in the morning with Neil Ellis Orts
On Thursday, 8/25, I had my biennial-ish stress test. This is where they make you go on a caffeine fast and then make you exert yourself on a treadmill while your head is pounding from the caffeine withdrawal. They also attach those wires to you, to monitor your heartbeat. They put these incredibly sticky tabs all over you. The last time I had this done, I remembered to trim back a bit, but this time I went in untrimmed, fully furred. Now, all that's not in these pictures, but on my right shoulder, closest to the camera, you can see two red blotches from these sticky tabs. The electrocardiogram woman had put on the first tab. When I got to the treadmill technician, he said that location wouldn't work for him, so he yanked it off (silent whimper) and put a new one where he wanted it. Then, when he was finished with all the treadmilling and radioactive isotopes and that big machine that reads the isotopes, he said, "okay we're all done"---and began rapidly yanking off off the tabs. Luckily, I'm a stoic Lutheran farm boy and barely flinched as he did so, but in my head I was screaming "ow! ow! ow! stop that! ow!" I'm pleased to have a photographic record of this pain for the whole world to see.