Intimacy With the World: December 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

365 Unattractive Self Portraits

I really didn't expect to make it. Which is to say, no one has lower expectations of myself than I do.

But here I am, at the end of 2011 with 365 unattractive self-portraits, none of which I'd put in a frame, but all of which I posted to the internet.

I went back and re-read all of my reflections at the quarter, half, and three-quarter marks. I don't know that I have much to add to my observations in those posts. Check them out, if you wish. They were posted on March 31, June 30, and October 1.

I will say this: I'm done. Whatever 365 unattractive self portraits says, this has to say it. I'm done performing loneliness in an attempt for intimacy with the world.

I have decided to do another photo blog, however. Check mekissingyou.blogspot.com . I think it might be something like progress . . .

Thanks to everyone who took time to look at my early morning photos. If you have comments/feedback, I'd love to hear them. Leave comments below!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Origin Story

2020 was pretty bad, but that's not why I'm doing this again. It's been 5 years again, so why not? I won't predict what might come of it. If 2020 has taught me anything, it's to not predict. Here's to a 2021 of bad, early morning selfies.

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2015 wasn't as bad as 2010, but it was pretty meh. This blog pulled me out of 2010 in good ways and so, five years later, I'm doing it again. Everything else from 5 years ago (below) still applies. Make of it what you will.

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As someone who has lived alone for possibly way too long, it occurs to me that no one ever sees me in my private moments. The year 2010 has heightened this feeling in significant ways and, of course, there's no better way to deal with feelings of loneliness, aging, and loss than to turn it into a conceptual art project!

My first impulse was to find someplace that would let me do a performance installation called, "hardly anyone ever sees me naked" and set up a space where I dress and undress and dress and undress (and I mean completely because I really don't have much problem with nudity). It would be an exercise in vulnerability, poignancy, and (I'll say it) exhibitionism. I decided that this would probably scandalize some members of my church (although I hasten to add that if you are a presenter and this sounds like something you'd like to present in your art space, I don't mind scandalizing the church for a small fee).

On further reflection, it occurred to me that one of the most intimate and vulnerable moments in our lives is the first thing in the morning, after waking up. Our hair is a mess, we might have stuff in the corners of our eyes, personally, I'm rather grumpy and resentful that anyone wants me anywhere before noon.

So, I decided to turn this unattractive moment into a superficial attempt at intimacy with the whole world, or at least the portion of the world connected to the internet. My self-determined rules are simple: no brushing or combing of hair, avoidance of the mirror, just write down the date, hold it next to my face, and take the picture. Oh, and only one shot. No do-overs. No attempts to take a better shot, no matter how off-centered, blurry, or just plain unappealing.

I intend to do this for the entire year of 2011. If I miss a day, I'll take it up again the next. I'll probably post the photos once a week.

That's all. Make of it what you will.

Intimacy With the World

Saturday, December 31, 2011

12.25.11 - 12.31.11

Friday, December 30, 2011

365 Unattractive Self Portraits

Saturday, December 24, 2011

12.18.11 - 12.24.11

Saturday, December 17, 2011

12.11.11 - 12.17.11

Saturday, December 10, 2011

12.04.11 - 12.10.11

Saturday, December 3, 2011

11.27.11 - 12.03.11