Thursday, October 6, 2016

2016 Three Quarter Mark

I realize we've passed the 3/4 mark of 2016 and this iteration of this project.

As I wind down this year, I've been thinking about what this practice meant the first time and what I'm thinking about this time.

The first time, I entered it as a practice to expose my desire for intimacy in my life. The funny thing is the practice didn't really help me with that feeling, but became more a "performance of loneliness for an audience of no one." At least two or three meta layers there, no?

This time, knowing that's what it was before and once again feeling a particular lack of intimacy in my life, I realized it was a project that could not replicate the small but significant revelation but hoped there would be some other revelation.

I don't think I have anything groundbreaking to report, really. Sorry to say it, but there it is.

I am, however, thinking about performance (for no audience) and documentation of said performance and its authenticity and its lack thereof. The pose (poser, poseur, compose, composure, expose, juxtapose . . . ) becomes the subject, maybe more than the object. Both/and.

I grow bored with this project, really, as I did in 2011. And yet when I poke it a little, I find something in it to keep me going.

I'll check in again in January, see how this all ends.

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